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We like to believe so, but we all need a little extra assistance to end up being the people we see that we could be in our heads.

Unconsciously you are telling yourself just how much of a failure, or woos you are, or how you've never accomplished anything and this just proves, and a lot more things.
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But, when you tinker her head just to win her back, you are on an unstable foundation for moving forward in the relationship when things are patched up.
Just "being" might feel uneasy or even foreign to us. When you are anxious, write down.